Advice for trying to pitch me
Do something interesting. I see loads of decks and loads of pitches and most of the time I am reading my email or telling jokes to someone else. Sorry it is your pride and joy, but when you said you were going to be the airbnb for hamsters, amazon for special dogs, etc etc etc I gave up the will to listen and one day maybe even the will to live.
Make it funny – I like jokes. As a person I understand pictures so don’t talk to me and don’t try to make me read.
Tade at Gleepost pitched me at Euston station with a sign above his head with my name on it. He then pitched at a pitch event with a cardboard box on his head:)
So don’t say:
– everyone else is interested ( so what )
– you are going to be huge
– the market is massive
– blah blah shit blah blah shit
Do say:
– you are funny ( I like to invest in people who will atleast be good fun whilst loosing my money )
– we have some traction in a tiny tiny tiny niche and we can own the niche niche
– show me raw raw numbers ( I don’t need to have some idiotic interpretation – I can add up and take away )
– be honest if you don’t know the answer to a question say so and tell me you will get back to me ( and do )
– offer to buy the bloody coffee or lunch :)
– allow me to wander off and talk about vaguely related stuff ( it’s my way of my mind exploring )
– don’t be a wanker and try to convince and harass me if I disagree with you, unless you are very certain of the facts and you know loads more about the sector than me
– be nice
Doug